What to do if it was on, but it’s gone cold: texting to get back in the game!
Do not delete your old numbers. Oftentimes, men make the mistake of deleting old numbers because the woman did not reply after one text, stopped replying after a while, or for any number of reasons communication ceased. Unless she flat out says, “don’t text/call me anymore”, do not delete the number. Simply change your strategy and lower your expectations.
Women may come in and out of your life after weeks, months, and even years. Oftentimes, they get boyfriends and just cut communication off with all the other men in their life. When that relationship ends, a well-timed text message will get you back in the game.
This low investment text strategy is applicable in a number of instances and is the foundation of what we call the ‘Slow Burn Game’. It does not matter how much time has passed (i.e. weeks, months, years).
The key is that you make contact byPinging.
How long should you wait before sending a recovery text? With numbers from a cold approach, allow some time, but not too much, because they are more likely to forget who you are. As a general rule, wait a few days if you have texted more than twice in a row and have received no response.
Me texting my ex “is he gone yet?” just to start an argument between her and her man pic.twitter.com/2wBWoYa9yj
— Hoodville (@Hoodville_) July 10, 2022
What to text?
If you are not sure what to text, always default to light, non-needy call-back humor. Below is a short list of possible text categories for what you can Ping a woman with when you have low investment.
1. Non-needy humor in the form of a statement. For example:
Braddock: “Tequila 4. Braddock 0. I would kill a small child for a Tylenol.”
Braddock: “It’s not completely gay that we haven’t hung out this week, but it’s definitely pretty gay.”
Braddock: “Just wanted to let you know that the new and improved Braddock is 23% more awesome.”
Braddock: “Mexican food place on Sunset and La Brea = Better than sex.”
Braddock: “Group sex at my house. You bring the girls, I’ll make sure Braddock is there.”
Braddock: “You should come over later for pizza and sex.”
Girl: “Haha… I don’t think so!”
Braddock: “What, you don’t like pizza?”
Braddock: “I having surgery today, pray for me!”
Girl: “OMG…on what!??!?”
Braddock: “I’m having my awesomeness level reduced by 3%”
Braddock: “I’m in Boston and I swear to God there is a girl in here that looks just like you!”
Girl: “Really no way!!”
Braddock: “Ok, I’m going to go hit on your clone. What would you say to you, if you were going to hit on you?”
Non-needy humor in the form of a short question. For example:
Mr. M: “Look up! Can you see a cloud that looks like a laughing koala from where you are?”
Braddock: “Kim! If we don’t hang out soon I’m breaking up with you for real this time. I’m changing my relationship status on Facebook and everything. :)”
Braddock: “Heading to the gym… Need to build big muscles to overcompensate for a small penis. Any other ideas?”
Braddock: “Hey, can you help me out?”
Girl: “Help you with what?”
Braddock: “I want to meet up with this cute girl named [Her name], but she’s impossible to nail down. Any advice? Keep in mind she’s a total player.”
3. Inside jokes from the past. For example:
Braddock: “Little Johnny called me and said he was lost. Some mother you are… if you lose him, I’m filing for divorce and I want everything.”
Braddock: “Make sure the kids have done their homework and dinner is on the table. I’ve had a long day at work and don’t need any more stress.”
Braddock: “See if your mother will watch the kids tonight. I think we need some alone time.”
4. Intrigue texts that do not ask anything specific, but make her want to reply. For example:
Braddock: “I met someone who said they knew you today.”
Braddock: “Guess what…”
Braddock: “You are not going to believe what happened to me today.”
Pull heartstrings. For example:
Braddock: “Just heard that Incubus song we used to always play….made me think of you :)”
Braddock: “Just drove through B town… I figured the water tower would say “Home of Sara.” 🙂 Hope you are doing well.”
Braddock: “X movie is on……made me think of you.” [Only use this if there was a connection between the movie and the both of you]
Note that these usually need to be specific to the woman. These can get really deep if the memory was strong enough and she liked you a lot. However, they should be used sparingly. Using them more than a few times a YEAR will kill your chances
i HATE texting her. pic.twitter.com/QIE4YSJQzo
— auggie (@dippersdiaries) July 10, 2022
6. Playing a funny false role and pretending that’s why you guys have not talked. For example:
Braddock: “Did you join the peace corp or something?! I haven’t seen you in forever…..I need some Kim in my life!”
Braddock: “Us not talking for 2 months is going beyond playing hard to get. You’re going to drive me into the arms of several other women at this rate.”
Braddock: “Did you join The Marines or something? It’s been ages! Come spoon me. That’s an order.”
7. Just jumping right into a wacky role play. For example:
Braddock: “Hi Kim!! Are we broken up for good? You don’t, write, you never call, the kids are worried sick and the rent was due 6 days ago!”
Braddock: “You never write, you never call, rent’s due and the kids are worried sick. What should I tell them?”
8. Mass texting something funny. For example:
Braddock: “Just wanted to remind everyone that I’m cooler than the other side of the pillow. Tell your friends”
Braddock: “Hey all, Mike’s farewell party at X bar Friday night. Your mission if you choose to accept it is to show up between the hours of 11 pm and 2 am. This message will self-destruct in 30 sec! Hope to see you there….”
Braddock: “I am 11% more awesome today… that is all.”
Braddock: “Hey everyone, don’t forget Kev’s bday = our house tonight… swimsuits = optional… arm floaties = required… safety first ;)”
What happens if you did not get far into the initial interaction but get on the phone with her somehow?
Even if you did not get into comfort in the initial interaction, but managed to get her phone number anyway, you may find that she answers the phone when you call (yes, it does happen – although not with a lot of regularity). If you get into this situation, you basically need to go through a mini Emotional Progression Model. This means that you need to build attraction, qualify her, and will probably also need to have a few more calls and text messages in order to build comfort before the actual meet-up.
One tactic that you can use if you are stuck in a phone game is to make plans with her, even if you know that there is no way that she is going to show up, and then cancel them. The key is that the plans can be tentative, but the cancellation has to be specific.
So, for example, saying “we should go to this concert next Friday, I’ll call you next week about it” is unlikely to be rejected by most women. Next Friday is still likely an abstract concept to her but she likes having many social options for a given night. Saying “yes” to this spares her the social awkwardness of having to say “no”.
When the time comes, of course, she will probably not answer your call, or send you a text message that she “has to work” “isn’t feeling well” or “has to pick up her sister at the airport”. But for now, she said “yes”.
The tactic is to treat this as a rock-solid and formal plan but then cancel on her before she can cancel on you. For example, call her the night before or the day of and explain, to her voicemail if you have to, that you can’t make it. For example, say that your friend Alexandra is flying out the next day and you totally forgot, but you’re hosting a party for her. Further, do not offer to reschedule. This sets a non-needy frame that you can build from.
Texting girls in other cities or far away
When dealing with girls in other cities, run the Text and Phone Game that has been prescribed in this book up to the point of the phone call. As there will be considerable gaps between the times when you can physically meet up, you should try to run a deeper comfort game once you are on the phone with her. This will hopefully hook her hard early on.
The distance issue can sober her up to the reality of how little you can, and actually will see each other. She may start to question what she is doing and get frustrated and bored.
Consequently, once she is hooked and you have a high degree of comfort with her, frame the distance issue as more of a mutual enemy you both hate for keeping you from seeing each other.
Remember – natural barriers can amplify attraction. You can also push the envelope more on attraction, sexual baiting, and deeper comfort over the phone and text message than you can on a ‘local’ girl. The fact that you are not likely to interact with anyone in her social circle is a bonus here. It means that she feels less social pressure and is more likely to be extremely open and very sexual, relative to a girl who lives 15 minutes away.