Qualification phase is where you – guess what?

Get the woman you are interested in attracted to you!


Qualification within the model

The Qualification phase starts when a woman is attracted to you and ends when she has attracted you to her. Let’s review where Qualification fits into the Emotional Progression Model:

  • Approaching: Starting a one-topic conversation; neither of you is attracted to the other.
  • Transition: Starting a normal conversation; means neither of you is attracted to the other.
  • Attraction: She becomes attracted to you or curious about you as a man.
  • Qualification: You become attracted to her or curious about her as a woman.
  • Comfort: You build emotional and physical intimacy with each other.

Qualification is the inverse of Attraction. When you were getting a woman’s attention during Attraction, she can be said to have been qualifying you. Now, she needs to win your interest, so you qualify her.
Put another way, Qualification is when a woman is hitting on you and winning your interest. And you do need to let her win, eventually.


Why Qualify?

Qualification can be a counter-intuitive process. After all, you approached a woman because you were interested in her. Why make her win you over once the interaction has already begun?

  • The Qualification process gives you reasons to be attracted to her other than her looks. And if you only like her for her looks, she’ll likely think that you’ll leave her when you get what you want or when someone more beautiful comes along.
  • Attractive women find it validating but ultimately boring to have men interested in them based on their looks alone.
  • Most women enjoy the process of working for the attention of a desirable man. Flirting is a fun game for most women, and she wants to play too.
  • If you do not qualify her, she may realize that you were interested in her all along. It’s a good thing to be open about your interest in her once you have established sufficient value, but you need her to have earned it.
  • Qualification solidifies her attraction to you. This relates to the psychological principles of investment and cognitive dissonance. The more someone invests to gain a result, the more that person wants to achieve it.

Finding Attractive Qualities (other than her looks)

I’ve said it before, but it’s important enough to repeat: her attractive qualities that “win you over” should not be based on her physical appearance. Not even if you think you’ve seen something new or non-obvious. If she’s an attractive woman, she’s heard it before.
So what qualities are we looking for? Personally, I think you may as well screen for the same qualities that are genuinely important to you in a woman. This would be a novel idea if you’ve been buying into influences telling you to do whatever it takes to sleep with any attractive woman who crosses your path. But you bought this book because you’re someone who thinks for himself and doesn’t follow the herd, so consider giving this approach a try.

Figure out what you really want in a woman, and then take this a step further by asking yourself how a woman who possesses those characteristics would present herself. Now, spend your Qualification phase looking for precisely that. For example, among other things I value intelligence and education. I screen for this in Qualification, by asking her about
books she has read and movies she has seen.

Helping her qualify herself

Once you have decided what qualities you are looking for, or are going to appear to be looking for, you need her to convince you that she has them. Surprisingly, many highly-desirable women aren’t especially good at this. That’s not to say that such women aren’t good at seducing men; many are, but these men are usually ones who they see on multiple occasions, at different events connected to their social circle. Even then, many women’s strategy is no more sophisticated than going to events where they know that a given man will be present, ensuring that they consistently look good at such events, and taking advantage of opportunities to flirt with him once there. Eventually, he may realize that they are interested in each other.

A soft Qualifier can be as easy as bringing up topics that are likely to let her express her personality and give you reasons to be attracted to her. Examples include:

  • Travel.
  • Career.
  • Education.
  • Hobbies.
  • Pets.
  • Cooking.
  • What-if questions (“if you could be any animal, what would you be?” etc.).

Rewarding her

Reward a woman when she tells you something about herself that makes you more interested in her.
After all, this is what we want her to be doing. Compliments make good rewards. But they must feel authentic. Show that the subject is genuinely important to you by talking about it. For example, if she says she loves sailing, compliment her and then talk about a time when you went sailing, or why you’d like to learn. This is where Qualification leads to Comfort, as you can use her responses to your Qualifiers as a catalyst to explore commonalities So a successful Qualification process should look something like this:

  1. Qualifier
  2. Her response
  3. Explore the topic
  4. Compliment
  5. Pull back (optional)
  6. New topic
  7. Next Qualifier










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