If you’re on your way out tonight and want quick tips

the best way to succeed with women


When You First Arrive:

  • Act like you own the place. Walk-in confidently. Keep your head high, walk slowly, don’t be afraid to take up space, and smile. How you enter a venue can set the tone for how people react to you the rest of the night.
  • If you’re alone, approach a group right away (I explain how to do this in a moment). If you’re with friends, have fun and joke around with them. Do not wander around to “check out the bar” or scan the area with your eyes looking for attractive women.
  • Be louder; almost every sober guy in a bar or club is too quiet.
  • Stand up straight, make eye contact, and don’t lean in to hear a woman. In fact, never lean in.

The Emotional Progression Model:

  • Our model follows a woman’s emotional progression from first meeting you to being in some form of relationship with you, even if it’s just friends with benefits. The next six sections give a couple of tips for each phase of the model. (The 7th – on relationships – is one you don’t have to worry about tonight.)
  • Key insight #1: You create mutual attraction before you build comfort. Put another way, you hold off on the “what’s your name?” and “what do you do?” questions as well as the really deep conversations until it’s obvious that you are both interested in each other.
  • Key insight #2: She needs to be showing that she is interested in you before you can show her that you are interested in her. Don’t worry; we’re about to show you how to get a woman interested in you.


  • The simplest way to meet women at a bar is usually to stay near the bar area. Don’t get drunk.
    When you see a group of two or three women together, pretend to “spontaneously” notice them and ask them a question like one of these:
  •  “I’m planning my friend’s birthday party next Friday and I’m trying to decide between an 80s theme and a jungle theme. What do you think?”
  • “My friend keeps getting anonymous emails from a secret admirer but he thinks he knows who it is. Should he say something?”
  • Ask the question like the situation is really going on, not like you’re taking a survey.
  • Always start talking to a woman within a few seconds of seeing her. This is important. Don’t stare. Don’t lurk. Lurking is creepy. Creepy is bad. Nothing will turn a woman off more than creepy. Any time you don’t want a woman to be interested in a man, implying that he is “creepy.” Approach right away.
  •  You can approach other groups (including women by themselves, larger groups, groups with men in them, groups sitting down, etc.) but a couple of women together at the bar is the easiest to get started with.


Once they’ve started talking about your friend’s birthday or secret admirer for a few seconds, cut them off by noticing something about them. Yes, actually interrupt them. What you notice can be something simple like “You look like you’d be a schoolteacher.” Or, it can be a longer, more playful piece such as:
– “Alright it seems that you [pick one woman at random] are the good one and you [the other woman] are the bad one. And that’s okay. One of you can be my angel and the other can be the devil. Like we’ll roll down the street, one of you on each arm, we’ll make all the other women jealous, and every time there’s a decision to be made, you guys can whisper in my ear and we’ll see who’s more tempting.”



  • The point of the transition is to move from a narrow, one-subject conversation that will eventually exhaust itself (like your friend’s birthday or secret admirer) to a normal conversation about all sorts of things.
  • Observing something about the people you’re talking to – especially if it’s done in a humorous or intriguing way – is a great way to do this.
  • Important note: Don’t compliment anyone or ask personal questions yet. Don’t worry about why this is;


Now that you have a normal conversation going, your next goal is to get the attraction to the woman you are interested in. here are a couple of techniques:
– Tease her (playfully; don’t be mean) – give her a nickname.
– Tell good stories. Funny is usually good. Tell your stories as if they are emotional journeys, not recitations of facts.
– Don’t do anything that would be interpreted as hitting on her.
– Be entertaining, without seeming to try too hard.

  • Keep the idea in your head that you’ve been with more beautiful women than the one(s) you’re talking to, and that you don’t need anything from them; you’re just having a good time. Don’t say this and don’t be negative, but let these thoughts guide and influence your behavior. A challenging man drives women crazy. Why Challenging is one of the eight attraction triggers and how to be challenging is explained next.
  •  Up to and including this point you will be doing 90% of the talking. Don’t let silence happen. Keep talking.
  • Never leave a group because you “ran out of things to say.” Say anything. Even the most boring thing in the world is better than awkward silence. Forcing yourself to say something – anything – will get you used to improvising and handling social pressure.
  • As you get good at this, you should be consistently getting some signs of attraction from her. Some examples of signs of attraction are: touching you; laughing at your jokes; or staying and talking to you for 20 minutes or so. There are about fifteen other important signs, but for tonight those are the three big ones.
  • When you’re getting a few signs of attraction, tone it down. You don’t need to tease her as much anymore. You can give her sincere compliments now. This is explained in the next section on Qualification.


  • When she is giving you signs that she is interested in you, switch gears. Now you can indulge your curiosity about her. You can ask her “screening questions” like: “So, what do you do for fun?”
    When she tells you things about herself that you are attracted to, compliment her on them.
  • Three compliments are usually enough. And make her earn them; she should have to talk about things that are genuinely interesting to you.
  • Once she’s done this, you can say something like “when I first met you I wasn’t sure about you. Now that I get to know you, you’re pretty interesting.”
  • Use the information she gave you by answering your screening questions to begin building rapport and looking for commonalities.
  • it’s a tricky one. There’s a ton more to it than I can fi here and it takes some practice, but these tips should get you through tonight.


  • Seduction is about being alone with her and progressing toward sex.
  • Your big obstacle in Seduction is “state breaks” – jarring interruptions when a woman has to consciously think about the possibility that she is on the road to having sex with you. These include: going home with you, moving into your bedroom, undressing, and so on.
  • for tonight, focus on distraction. When something is about to happen that will engage her logically in this way, do something else that will take her attention away. For example, when you take her home, talk non-stop. Don’t talk fast or appear nervous, but don’t let a moment of silence come in… Keep her mind occupied with your words. Your monologue will distract her from the fact that she is coming home with you.
  • As for sex itself, you’re on your own.

Getting Her Phone Number:

  • Make sure you get her number; don’t just give her yours.
  • You can get a phone number anytime in or after the Attraction phase, but it’s best to wait until Comfort.
  • Make specific plans for what you two will do that are interesting and don’t involve dinner and a movie.
  • Stay for at least 5 minutes after you get her number.


Before you go out:

You probably don’t have time to make major changes to your wardrobe right now, but here are a few things you can do with what you have:
• Untuck your shirt. Zap nose hairs and unibrows. Women notice.
• Just Junk golf shirts you might be wearing.

•You can also  Put on one interesting item – a pendant, a ring, an unusual jacket, something that stands out and will get people talking to you.
• Grooming and fashion: It’s not the kind of fashion you’d find in GQ; it’s what’s been proven to work for getting the attention of beautiful women who you meet out in public.


General Rules to Remember

• Don’t introduce yourself to women even if you’ve been talking for a few minutes. When a woman asks your name, it’s a sign she is interested in you.
• Don’t ask her about her personal information in the first fifteen minutes you are talking to her. (15 minutes is an approximation )
• Don’t compliment her on any aspect of her appearance or what she is wearing.
• Keep a very playful vibe; you can’t look like you are taking things too seriously.
• And When you encounter resistance, change her mood, not her mind.
• Be non-reactive to things that aren’t the results you want. Being non-reactive is very attractive to women. Just enjoy yourself and don’t seek specific responses from her.
• Have fun! If you’re not having fun, she won’t have fun.



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